Tuesday, August 11, 2009

All about me

While the kids are busying themselves, I decided today is a good day to blog about what I want. Not that I don't like blogging about my kids and crazy life, but I just felt that I had to get some things off my chest. Typically I like to hold things in, keep them bottled up while I figure out how to deal with them, but I've been told it's not such a good thing to do. And it's my blog right, so I can blog about what I want!

Where to start....hmmm...well first off, I hate the fact that some people assume that just because I stay at home with my kids means I'm stupid or incompatent. Like, people say, "Oh what do you DO?" And I say, "Oh I stay at home and raise my children." And then I get the classic shocked look and the same old response, "OOOOhhhhhh." I do have a degree, in fact, I have a degree and a half, LOL. Not that either one is doing me any good and probably never will at this point in my life, but just because I stay at home with my kids does not mean I dropped out of school or am too stupid to get a job. I am actually surprised at all the mommy friends I have that DO stay at home. When I worked, it didn't seem so common at all. Probably b/c I worked with all women who had kids and HAD to work to support the family. I am lucky enough to have a hard working (sometimes annoying and stressed out) husband who is very successful and therefore I can stay at home and we can still do some special things for the kids.

Secondly, staying at home is NOT easy. There are days I would rather have a daytime job to turn to just to have some adult interaction or a break from screaming, whining children. And I am by NO means saying working full time and taking care of a family is easy either. I did it for 3 years. That is very stressful too, and I can remember constantly feeling like CJ never got to see or do enough things with Randy and I. Now, it's almost like he does too much with me, LOL. But, there's always a con to whatever you choose to do. Back to the point, when a woman stays at home, they are expected to take care of everything else imaginable. For instance, I take care of CJ and Ella, clean the house almost every day, do the laundry, do the dishes, make breakfast/lunch/dinner, pick up after the kids AND the hubby (after 33 years he still hasn't figured out how to pick up after himself!), and at the end of the day after all is said and done, I have MAYBE a 1/2 hour of time all by myself. Phew!

My son has severe allergies. He also has asthma. He also has some pretty tasty skin b/c the bugs love him every summer! Every year he gets a few awful colds b/c of his allergies and asthma. And NO, it's not because I didn't nurse him. It's not b/c he was formula fed, or b/c I gave him rice cereal at 3 months, or took his paci away at 12 months. He was born this way. Unfortunately, he inherited my family's allergy history. CJ was just unlucky in that department. And tagging along for the lifelong ride with his severe allergies is asthma. Actually it is quite common to have allergies AND asthma b/c of the inflammation in the lungs. Other than that, CJ is a pretty normal healthy guy. He hasn't had the flu or a strain of it in over 2 years. Ella wasn't nursed either. She was formula fed from her second day in this world and still is **gasp**. She had severe reflux, has a derma cyst above her eye which she will need surgery for to remove it, has 3 hemangioma birthmarks but it is NOT b/c she was formula fed. I just really want to tell people that reflux has nothing to do with breastmilk or formula. Read the studies....do the math. My cousin, who exclusively nursed all 3 of her kids, had 2 babies with reflux. They just had dairy issues. My good friend who nurses her daughter also had severe reflux and was put on the same meds as Ella as a baby. Again, it was an issue with the gut not being mature enough to handle dairy products. All they were told was to cut all dairy out of their diet. Wouldn't you know, they make a non dairy formula? It's called Similac Alimentum, and from the day we put Ella on it, she thrived and packed on the pounds. And guess what? Now she can tolerate milk based formula and dairy products. I did not neglect my kids b/c they were formula fed, rather I had supply issues and according to all the lactation consultants in the hospital, parts of my anatomy were not made to naturally nurse. So rather than frustrate my children and I, I took a more simpler approach. Sometimes, I do get all misty-eyed and wish I had made more of an effort to nurse at least one of my children for at least a few weeks, but it was not in the plan I suppose. And for those of you who do, I congratulate you b/c I am sure it is an awesome feeling to provide for your child in that way. Not to mention it's WAY CHEAPER!!!! I am not one of those people who can't stand to see nursing mother's in public either. Rather, I think the U.S. should be more open and accepting of it b/c it's a natural thing. I will also never frown on someone who chooses to formula feed rather than nurse. Everyone has their reasoning and should never be judged. So, for those of you who think to yourself, oh that baby has issues b/c they were/are formula fed, please think before putting your foot in your mouth. Some of the most sickly children that I know personally were exclusively nursed for many months. So there you go.


Danielle said...

I am so glad you wrote this. I feel just like you do when it comes to staying home with the kids. Granted, I work weekends but I still get 'the look' because I am home all week. I have a BS and a Master's so you know where all those people can stick their opinions.

And, I did not bf Connor and only did with Paige for 9 days. My kids are healthy as can be (knock on wood) and that means that they are healthier than bf babies too.

Queenb said...

I heart you Danielle!!!

Dawn said...

Ok, did someone really make you mad about formula feeding? So Ella isn't supposed to be on formula still? Chase was right up, actually a few weeks past 12 months. Not every feeding but early morning snack and bedtime. I wasn't going to throw formula out, it was Nextstep anyway.

well, who cares what everyone else says and does. I find being a mom now that everyone else thinks they can tell you how to parent. Sometimes I find myself giving tidbits to the new mom at work. Such a hypocrite I am sometimes, hate it when people do it to me but then I do it. I guess I better listen to my own words. :) Never about nursing though, that's everyone's choice.

The Fearless Formula Feeder said...


Well said!