Wordless Wednesdays

It's only Tuesday....

And already it's been one hell of a week. How is that possible? Why I ask? And why me?

First off, I have never in my life whacked my head as hard as I did. One thing you'll pick up on real quick about me is I am by far the biggest klutz ever. And I unfortunately handed down that awesome trait to CJ. Anyway, I was getting a bag together of old clothes that don't fit Ella and CJ anymore. Once a month I go thru all of our clothes and donate them to a local church. I consider it a small step towards my future goal of finding enough time to volunteer. So, I was bending over, tying the bag in my walk in closet and my hair kept falling into my face. I went to pick my head up, rather quickly to flip my hair over (a wonderful blond moment might I add!), and whacked it onto the corner of my dresser that is in the closet.

You don't even want to know the cuss words I was dying to say at that very freaking moment.

Actually, I am sure you can guess. And I couldn't speak them out loud b/c CJ was in the closet with me. Dammit was about all I could muster in front of virgin cuss word ears.

As I'm rubbing my wound, praying that it isn't going to bleed, CJ keeps saying over and over again,

"Mommy, are you OK? What happened? Where is your boo boo?"

And I know he only meant well b/c he's the most caring, sensitive guy you'll ever meet, but I really just wanted to revel in my imaginary swear world, and he kept interrupting it. So I thought if I ignored him he would stop talking for maybe 5 seconds.

Wrong!

That just egged him on. I finally said, through my clenched teeth and messy hair, "BE QUIET!"

He was quiet....for 5 seconds. It wasn't enough.

So I have this headache now and the entire left side of my head hurts like hell. I can't believe it didn't bleed. I took some ibuprofen but what I really need is some quiet time. Magellan is working late, so that ain't happening any time soon.

My other big issue today is CJ. He has been having some issues with being far too rough with Ella. He gets angry quickly (0 to 60 in 3 seconds flat is not an exaggeration!), and has been pushing Ella down occasionally for the last week. Today he hit her on the back when she took a pillow from his "sleeping fort". And then the best part is, he tried to run and hide from me, b/c he knows what he did was wrong, and then tried to lie about what happened! On top of all of that! I got so mad but I kept my cool and sent him to his room....for hours. The good thing is he took a nice long nap, which he obviously needed.

He's in a better mood now, but I am at a loss of what to do to get him to understand he can't hurt Ella (or anyone) that way. He's always been very over protective of her, very gentle and loving and I don't know why all of a sudden he feels the need to be physical with her. Ella is a tough girl, and when she gets a big older I can almost guarantee she will haul off and knock him out. She's already the kind of girl who doesn't take any crap.

So, CJ has gotten the lecture of being nice and not hitting/hurting people from both Magellan and I. He's been punished, had toys taken away, gone to bed early, all that stuff. But, I don't know when it will sink in. Any advice is GREATLY appreciated.

Oh, and did I mention we have NO BEER OR WINE IN THIS HOUSE?

Christmas Shopping

Wow. I can't believe I am typing a post about Christmas already. It is only 3.5 months away, and time always goes by SO fast b/c of everything else in between.

We have Ella's FIRST birthday party to celebrate, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Black Friday and countless appointments in between all those months to go to. It will be over before we know it.

So yes, I have done a lot of Christmas shopping already. I'm one of those people who starts the day AFTER Christmas for next year. I thrive on the bargains I suppose and while my kids are still this little, they don't give a hoot that they got some of last year's popular toys. I know I won't be able to get away with that for too much longer with CJ b/c he's far too smart for his own good. But at least I still have some more time with Ella. There are also some good deals to be during the summer months at Target and sometimes Walmart or Kmart. Yes, I'm cheap. What can I say? I raised by a single mother who had to make the dollar stretch and I am still to this day in that mindset.

There is nothing wrong with being cheap!

CJ's shopping is officially done and I did really well this year for him. I got some great stuff and am sure I spent less than $50 for him. And I have to say that I have had to start getting quite crafty with where I hide his presents too. Last year he found some toys in our closet and I gave them to him early b/c I didn't want to spoil the whole "Santa" idea. I love when kids believe in Santa and seeing them get all excited to see the presents under the tree.

I think my dad, baby bro and older bro are done also. The hard ones are the only ones left...My mom, Magellan and the nieces and nephew.

I have to admit I still have YET to figure out how to really shop for older girls. I have NO clue what they are into these days.

Did I also mention that I LOVE Black Friday shopping?

I know, how sick am I? I didn't go last year 'cause Ella was far too little to leave in the care of Magellan. He's a freaking nervous wreck with newborns. This year she may just be old enough for me to leave with Magellan, and try to venture out alone and come home and sleep all day like I used to do when we only had CJ.

I'll keep y'all posted on that one though.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

DO NOT DRINK THE WATER

Yes, I fully meant to type the title in capital letters.

Yes, I am yelling very loud at you.

I now know of FIVE people who are pregnant. Yes, that is FIVE! They say things come in three's, but seriously, this is ridiculous. And if that saying is so, then there is one more person out there waiting to get knocked up. Oh, and did I mention that three out of those five people are related to me? YIKES!

I should totally swear off doing the deed just b/c the water is now contaminated, but I don't think I can punish Magellan like that. I did miss a pill (or a few!) this month, and while it's not during a time when I'm normally fertile (yes I do know that much about my cycle!), you just never know what God will throw your way.

So I am swearing off any and all water.

For now.

Well, probably forever. Magellan and I are done having children as far as we're both concerned. I used to want 3 or 4 kids, but man, that was until I had two very active, crafty, sneaky children. They are a lot of work! The hardest part is the newborn stage. If there is one thing I really dislike about raising children, it's the newborn stage. Yes, they can be cute and cuddly, but both of my kids at the extreme ends of "cute and cuddly." CJ is the most cuddly person you will ever meet. It can be downright smothering at times and it drives me crazy. Ella is the cutest thing you'll ever meet but she HATES to snuggle. She doesn't even like to be touched. In her sleep even! And CJ is cute, but he is to the absolute extreme of snuggling you could ever be.

So, back to the newborn stage.....the idea of training another baby just scares me. I am so not good at the newborn stage. The lack of sleep tries my patience and I have had two babies with reflux. Ella being the worst of the two. Her reflux was so bad she had to be on special formula up until she was 8 months old, and was on Prevacid for 5 months. She ruined countless outfits, and I probably went thru 10 bibs a day. And that was on a good day. CJ was never that bad, but it was still gross and he ruined countless outfits as well. I never knew if either child was truly getting enough nutrition and I constantly stressed about them spitting up while sleeping and choking on it. I much prefer the one year and up stage....it agrees with me a lot better.

I also don't think I like the idea of being fat for 9 months and taking another year to lose the baby weight. That just sucks. And the older I get, the harder it gets to lose the weight.

Not to mention I've given away most of my baby stuff.

No, it would NOT be a good idea to drink the baby making water.

At least not today.

Wordless Wednesdays

Loss

Loss is always such a hard thing to talk about. No matter who or what it's incorporates. It can be someone you know, or just someone you know of. It doesn't have to be a close loved one to feel loss or sadness.

I have had too much sadness and loss this summer. More than I've had in my lifetime already. And I know there is only more to come as I get older. I lost a dear friend's brother, who I was close with in high school. He was my prom date and a great person, someone I will always miss but hope to see again some day. I had another acquaintance from high school also lose her brother, again, making me want to hug my family members and baby brother tighter. Life is just too short.

Magellan was also informed that his grandfather probably wouldn't be around too much longer. He has a very bad heart and there is no longer anything they can do to fix it. Although I'm not close with his grandpa, it hurts me when it hurts someone I care about. To see their loss is like feeling it deep inside me as well.

The death of Patrick Swayze was devastating. Not in the same way of course, but it's sad to see a wonderful life lost. And although we will all pass on sometime in our life, to go sooner than you should is often times hard to grasp and make sense of.

Well, I have another friend who is currently dealing with loss. A different kind of loss that sometimes is more devastating. She found out a few days ago she was expecting her third child only to have that hope, wonder and excitement taken from her today. Some people will never know the loss of a pregnancy while others, including myself, know all too well how hard it is. Time sometimes makes it better, but it never goes away. There is never really anything anyone can say to make it easier, but I hope she can find the strength to keep her head up.

When Magellan and I suffered our loss it was 4 months before I got pregnant with Ella. It was a very hard thing to handle, you don't always know why. But, in my heart of hearts I firmly believe there is a reason for everything. Although I'm not a religious fanatic by any means, I believe there was a plan and Ella was given to me from God. She was the light at the end of that dark tunnel. The miscarriage didn't do wonders for our marriage either. I felt I couldn't talk to Magellan and he was afraid of what to say to me, out of fear of upsetting me. It was a vicious cycle, but thankfully we worked our way out of it. It was tough, but we learned how to talk about it and I learned that Magellan grieved just as hard as I did, only in a different way.

Its the hopes and dreams you had already laid out that get snatched away, along with the wonderment of what you did wrong. It took me a long time to get over that feeling; that I was to blame in some way. And maybe I was...maybe I didn't take care of myself very well at that point, maybe it wasn't the right time in our lives or maybe it just wouldn't have been a healthy baby. Who knows? I will never know. But it sure doesn't stop me from thinking where and what would that child be like? I don't let the thoughts consume me by any means....it's just thoughts of what would have been. But when I catch myself wandering down that road, I often realize I wouldn't have Ella. I wouldn't be the better yet stronger woman I am today. And maybe Magellan and I wouldn't be where we are today.

To all those women who have suffered any type of loss, know that I understand. I grieve every time I hear about one b/c I know how bad it hurts. And how for a bit, just a bit, you feel as if you can't go on.

A Day on The Farm

Today totally reminds me of the Baby Einstein movie...Old MacDonald, ha! And I can hear the music as I prelude to my post and pictures. Ok, I think I need to stop watching Baby Einstein. It's the only thing that plays in my car these days. No radio, no CD of mixed music....just "Mary Had a Little Lamb", "Old MacDonald Had a Farm", and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." I often find myself singing these as I try to fall asleep. Oh to be a kid again.

This afternoon I took Ella and CJ to my aunt's horse farm. CJ loves being there, not only b/c all of his 2nd cousins go there as well, but CJ adores the horses. He will actually get on one and ride it every time we're there, that is how much he loves them. He's not afraid of them which often shocks me. CJ can be a real wuss sometimes, LOL!

We had a blast! All the kids got to ride the horses and we took a long walk out in the pasture and to the ponds. It's beautiful there, and I love that they have paths paved through out the acres of land they have. There is no noise, no annoying hubby, just me and my thoughts. Oh, and Miss Ella and her chattering of course. CJ was too cool to go on a walk with his mommy, he wanted to play freeze tag with the other kids. I didn't mind, any quiet time is much appreciated these days!

We enjoyed pizza, wings and salad and I had my first Carmel Porter. Not too bad if I may say so, but probably not something I would buy and drink on a regular basis. I'm a wine girl myself. I have to limit myself though b/c I often find wine can taste like water sometimes...goes down so easily. Anyway, Ella actually was quite good and entertaining. She loved my cousin Brendan and loved playing with my little cousin Olivia. It was a good time even if my mom and dad didn't have time to stop on over.

Enjoy the photos!

Yes I am

Yes I am up.

No I am not tired.

Yes I'm crazy because Ella is actually sleeping, which is what I should be doing.

No I won't stay up after this post.

Yes my dog woke me up to go outside to go to the bathroom.

No I didn't care this time.

Yes I was hungry so I had a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

No it didn't fill me up.

Yes I'm done posting now.

No more til tomorrow.

What to do, what to do?

For the past two days I've pondered over what to blog about. Blogging about my kids can be boring....admit it. Although I do have two very active, naughty children that make for some awesome posts, I even get bored writing about them. I've blogged about my doggie-in-training, and my not so "better" half. Is it time to blog about me again?!

So here's the history on Lindsay Nicole Ingram Salatino. I was born December 29th, here in Rochester. I already had an older brother who we will call "B" who was 2. From the pictures I've seen, he seemed so happy to have me around. Although he didn't walk, talk or associate with too many other people besides my mother, I loved him unconditionally. I walked and spoke long before he did, and as a result of this he went to a special school when he was 3. Every day, all day long. Imagine how heartbreaking that must be for a parent. I sometimes get teary eyed thinking about how my mother had to let him go that day. I'm sure she shed a few tears...

I spent 5 years growing up in Brockport, which was a very small town then. There was pretty much nothing there but a Wegmans, bowling alley, McDonalds and Ames. Gosh, do you remember Ames?? Wow, that was like the hot spot then I think.

When I was ten my parents separated and I witnessed a very nasty divorce. It's not anything I would wish upon anyone. I spent nights crying myself to sleep, as I'm sure my mom did. My older brother didn't quite understand everything that was going on (which was probably better anyways), and my baby brother was far too young to even remember. And even if he could grasp onto what was really going on, I tried my best to shield him from any and all nastiness my biological father sent our way. I don't really consider my bio-dad my father. He did nothing for me my entire life, or any of my brothers for that matter. I have a wonderful dad that my mom married when I was 16, and he's taken such good care of my brothers and I.

When my mom remarried, along came the extra siblings. I have an older step brother, "C", a younger stepbrother, "K", and a younger step sister, "S". I love them all to death even thru their imperfections, but I'm most closest with K. He lives in Cleveland and CJ just adores him. He comes to visit when he can, but it's certainly not often enough!

My younger brother, "CK", is the one that I'm closest to out of all my siblings. Because he was so young when my parents divorced, I took over a lot of the motherly duties for him while my mother worked hard to support us. He was like my own little baby. We're 7.5 years apart, but it never stopped us from bonding or playing together. I love him like he was my own baby! I took care of him in every way possible and still do even though he's now of legal age to drink! We're complete polar opposites but that doesn't matter. We bring out the best in each other.

I can see a lot of my own son in CK, and to tell you the honest truth, CJ could be his "mini me"! When we vacationed in Hawaii last winter, everyone we passed thought CK was CJ's dad. It was actually kind of cute because CK and CJ have a very special bond.

My CK and CJ in Hawaii:

More to come....I have to put Evil Ella down for a nap!

Wordless Thursday

Typically I do my wordless posts on Wednesdays, but I blogged about my doggie yesterday, so here it is!

She's getting the hang of it

Some of you may know that we enlisted the help of a dog trainer for our German Shepard, Star. We've been having some issues with her listening and jumping on people, and since I'm the person that's with her the most, I need her to listen to me. It's like having another child at home. Except that she sleeps a lot more than the kids do! Anyway, I have a very good friend who just had her dog trained by a close friend and they had an awesome experience. And they were very happy with the results.

So I checked out the trainer's website, and thought, well, I need to start somewhere. And of course once I saw him on TV, with my friend's dog, it was a done deal. I knew he might be the help Star needed.

First a little background on Star. We bought her when she was about 3 months old. So she was still a puppy, but crate trained and potty trained already. Which were major pluses for me. I am NOT a dog person. Still not really, but I love my dog and don't know what I would do without her. She's taught me to love and respect dogs and I have even contemplated *gasp* getting another dog. She is very gentle with the kids, and just loves to be around them. Being that Star is a German Shepard her obvious purpose is to be a good guard dog...which she is. She scares anyone who doesn't know her, but really she's just a big old baby.

Back to the point...so our dog Trainer, Tommy, started on Monday. And so far I have honestly seen some amazing results with Star. I have to admit, since I know absolutely nothing about dogs and the training for them, I wasn't sure if a week would be enough for Star. But seriously, she is already more calm, and I have only two times where she's tried to jump on me. Typically, she would try to jump on me about 200 hundred times a day. She seems happier in general which makes me feel good b/c it's definitely something she needed. Star is still playful, but it's nice to see her feel more comfortable and not be so darn excitable around the family all the time. It got to the point where we would sometimes have to put her out in her kennel when family would come over b/c she would just be all over them. And I have some friends and family who aren't used to Star....it's not like she's a lightweight either. She's a big girl, 80 lbs and still thinks she's a lap dog!

Tommy is doing such a fantastic job with her. I'm throughly impressed with all of his credentials. He has trained dogs in the military, among many other things, but that alone is impressive. I can't wait to see how much even better Star is by the end of the week. I am very excited to have an obedient dog that I'm not afraid to leave out when we have company.

Thanks Tommy D!

www.americank9trainingservices.com

A collage of thoughts today

Today is one of those days where I have about a million and one things running thru my mind. I can't think straight, but, the good thing is that my headache is gone. It only lasted 3 days this time around. I'm still debating whether or not to have my dr prescribe me something for the migraines that result in almost week long headaches. I take enough medication as it is, so if I stick to what I have that would be great. I don't need something else to make me any more crazy than I am!

Whenever I attend a wedding I always think back on the day Randy and I got married. It seems so long ago, well, it was. It was 7 very long years ago. I was such a different person then. I was young. I won't give away my true age yet b/c I hate getting older BUT, I was very young. Probably a lot younger than most are when they get married these days. Magellan and I had a perfect wedding day, unlike the other aspects of our life. It had poured rain the day before and day after our wedding. It was beautiful out, and we got to share a very special occasion with all our friends and family. It was a ton of fun, we had a fantastic DJ and the food, though I didn't have much of it, was delicious. I often find myself wondering sometimes, what if I had waited to get married? Would Magellan and I still be together? He's a few years older than me, he always wanted to find that special someone and settle down and start a family, but were we really ready? Had we really overcome our individual issues? I often wonder if Magellan is really my soul mate? Or do I believe in soul mates? Do I even have a soulmate?

It's often so mind boggling to me that the majority of us have one person that we literally spend the rest of our lives with. What makes us choose that person? What makes us love them? Hate them or fight with them? And why do some of us leave or stay? I often wonder what is it about Randy and I that clicked that night 11.5 years ago? What made us fall in love and what makes us continue to love each other every day? And what is it that makes people fall out of love?

How is it that we can love unconditionally? Sometimes before we even meet someone....as in our children. And have it be a totally different love than what we have for anyone else in our life. My kids mean the world to me, as I'm sure every one's kids do. No matter what kind of day I've had, when all is said and done, my heart just bursts with the love I have for CJ and Ella. I remember people talking to me about the love you have for your children but I never understood it until I had them. Whenever I snuggle with CJ, and he wraps his little arms around me, my heart just bursts. When Ella pulls herself up on my leg and says "mama" I want to squeeze her tight. But alas, my last baby does not like to snuggle....just like her mama. But it doesn't change how crazy I am about her!

I've always thought I've been quite emotional. First I thought it was because of my parents divorce, then thinking it was just puberty or all the boyfriends I had who put me thru hell. But, it's just me. I'm a nut when it comes to my feelings. They get hurt easily and I may forgive, but I NEVER FORGET. I shut people out when they walk all over me or are mean to me. I've always been that way, especially with people who I'm very close with. I'll never understand why people intentionally hurt each other.

Maybe in my next life I'll just come back as a leaf.

The "Short" battle

Have I mentioned before that I really despise mornings? I have never been a joyful person in the morning, and unfortunately it was one nasty trait I have passed on to CJ. Thankfully, Ella got Magellan's personality for the mornings...cheerful, happy and excited to start the day.

Today was a day CJ and I BOTH should've just stayed in bed. As a parent though, I don't have that luxury anymore. How I wish I did some days though! I didn't sleep great, and have been nursing a headache since yesterday morning. Woke up this morning to Ella's baby chatter and yep, headache still there. Every so often I have days where a headache lingers, and lingers, and lingers. Nothing really helps it go away. It usually starts out as a migraine and then turns into a tension/stress headache and hangs out for a few days. Not fun at all. Those are the days I'm usually screaming at Magellan around 5p to hurry up and get his ass home. Those are the days I try and put Ella to bed no later than 7p b/c I just can't take the noise and lights. Then I typically crawl under the covers and wait for sleep to take over. Anyway, I still had this headache and was in no mood for crap. Thankfully Magellan had to leave for work around 7am, so CJ and I didn't have to contend with him. He hates our crankiness in the morning and still after all these years doesn't understand to not bother either one of us for at least an hour. I haven't found the right training course for that yet.

8am rolls around and CJ is still sleeping, so I have to wake him or he will be late for school. He was shockingly pleasant when he woke up, and I brought him downstairs to eat his waffle. Soon time came to get dressed and he decided while he played with his Power Rangers, I would grab his clothes and he would get changed in the living room. This is a routine that has yet to be broken as ever since CJ was a baby and went to daycare, I changed him in the living room b/c it was quicker for us to just run out the door so I wouldn't be late for work. After changing Ella and bringing everything downstairs for CJ I informed him he needed to get changed while I gave Ella her Nutrigrain bar. Well, as soon as CJ saw the jeans I picked out for him he started screaming.

"I AM NOT WEARING PANTS!"

And so the "short" battle began.

For some odd reason CJ really thinks he can now wear shorts all year long. Obviously in NY, you can't for the simple reason being that it gets quite cold for about 8 months out of the year. Now the best part about this whole argument is that we could NOT get CJ to wear shorts once it started getting warm out this year b/c he complained he was always cold. Now I can't get him out of the shorts. He would rather freeze and have goosebumps than wear pants.

"It's too cold to wear shorts tody CJ. It's not supposed to get over 60 degrees." As if the child knows what I'm talking about.

For 15 minutes CJ and I argued back and forth about putting his pants on. First he said he would run upstairs and get his shorts, but I locked the baby gate on the stairs and he doesn't know how to open it. Then he threw himself ever so dramatically onto the couch and cried into the pillows. Finally I yelled at him to put his darn pants on and that was final. Well, he wanted his Daddy (as I've pointed out before, Daddy is the sucker in the house), so I punched in Magellan's number on the cell and let CJ cry to him while I got Ella out to the car. By the time I got into my seat in the truck, CJ was wailing about how his pants were ugly, and disgusting and blah, blah, blah. I couldn't help but laugh b/c they were just jeans. But very cute jeans might I add. Not super tight ones, or highwaters, or elastic wastebands ( he had to wear the elastic wasteband ones for a LONG time b/c he's so darn skinny!). They're bootcut, long jeans, so I don't know what the problem was.

We got to his school and I thought he was over his "short" issue. He hung his backpack up and we walked down the hall to the playground, which is where I drop him off before they start class. Low and behold but who was wearing pants outside? Every single one of his classmates and his two teachers. CJ didn't give a rats ass though. His teacher came over to say hi to me and Ella and when she bent down to hug CJ, he immediately crossed his arms over his chest and started pouting.

"My mom won't let me wear shorts today."

And so the "short" battle began with Ms Cindy.

Poor Ms Cindy.

Meet my better half

I've been thinking that it's probably about time that I introduced my "better" half. Some of you know him, while others do not. His name is Magellan, but I usually call him Bubba. His middle name is CJ's first name, as horrific as it is. I still to this day can't imagine why anyone would carry on that name as a tradition but I guess it's some sort of guy thing. Magellan is a great person, inside and out. I can hardly believe we've been together for 11.5 years! Married for 7, but before we got married we sure had our share of ups and downs, but it only made us stronger. When I first met Magellan he was quite the charmer, but pretty rough around the edges. Quite the party boy if I may say so and in need of some desperate TLC....or Training, Love and Coddling. At least he was trainable!

Nah, just kidding. I mean, he's not a dog. I did train him though. It was A LOT of hard work to get him to where he is now!!

Magellan and I get along pretty well and have a lot of similarities. More than I care to admit most days. But, we also have a lot of differences that even us out. Believe it or not, Magellan is quite shy and introverted. Not me. I like being around other people. Don't get me wrong, I certainly love my alone time, but I much prefer to be around others. I giggle, gossip, and make fun of people. Magellan grunts, stews over things and generally doesn't notice others. He's a hard worker (most of the time!), takes great care of his family, and is a fantastic father. He's a sucker for CJ and Ella! He's a diehard Republican, which I can't stand, and is not afraid to voice his opinion to me. 99% of the time we disagree but that's what makes us different. The best part about Magellan is that he's a metro! Now, I think all men have a bit of metrosexualism about them, but Magellan is the poster boy for it. Honest to God!

He may be a few cards short of a full deck, but the boy does have style. It's one thing I've always admired about Magellan. He cares how he looks when we go out, so naturally he always looks nice. I have to admit though, sometimes he takes it a bit too far. More often than not, we're waiting on HIM when we have somewhere to go. I've learned how to get ready in a very short amount of time now that I have two children, but Magellan could care less if he's late for something. I won't go into too much detail about everything he does b/c he would be SOOOO embarrassed but, he would make a perfect woman. Well, only if women didn't have to go thru childbirth b/c he's a wuss when it comes to any type of pain or sickness.

I have never seen a man worry more about their looks than Magellan. It can get annoying sometimes but for the most part it comes with the territory and I've grown used to it. I've learned to lie about what time we need to be somewhere b/c I know how long it takes for him to get ready. He changes his outfit more times than me and spends a shitload of money on clothes. The only clothes he'll wear are from Abercrombie, and now Lucky Brand, thanks to Las Vegas. He's never heard of a "bargain" or "clearance". Those words do not exist in his vocabulary. He gets his hair cut at least two times a month, files his nails and is constantly scrubbing his shoes clean. Anal? NOOOO, not Magellan! He hangs every article of clothing he owns except for socks and underwear so they don't get wrinkled and has a fit if he gets a drop of anything on his shirt or pants. He irons T-Shirts, and is always the first to notice when one of his buddies has a new pair of shoes on.

And how fitting to know that he passed all of these wonderful qualites onto our son, who will ever so lovingly stare at his own reflection in the mirror before school and say to himself, "Looking good CJ!"

Why say anything at all?

Have you ever had a moment when some random stranger stops you in the somewhere and says something and you have to stop and wonder why they even said anything at all? Or do you think the same thing I do? Like, did their mother ever teach them that sometimes it's best to not say anything at all?

I often have moments like this now that I have a little one again. I get a lot of people who stop to comment on how cute or pretty Ella is when she's with me. And of course she's flashing her big, huge grin when they stop to talk to her. The best part is when they notice her earrings and then ask how old she is. I proceed to say she is almost 11 months old and that is when sometimes I get the strange, rather rude comments. I had one little old lady stop me outside the restroom and say, "My she's awfully little to have her ears pierced." And the woman kept right on walking. I actually stopped and looked behind me, like, was she aiming that comment at me? Of course no one was behind me, so yes, the comment was for my benefit. I laughed and thought, thank god she was far enough away to not hear what response I would have had.

Once again, I was in Wegman's with Ella and had a lady literally follow me down the yogurt aisle commenting on Ella's eyes and smile. I finally stopped pushing the cart and she asked what Ella's name was. I said, "It's Ella Dominique." And the woman says to me, "OH! Ella is so common these days. Wow." And just kept right on going. I have to say I was kind of offended by the comment. Who says things like that? And no offense to older people, but, it is always the older people who feel they can say whatever they want whenever they feel like it. Not everyone, but the ones who have those slap you in the face shocking comments. I like the name Ella, and when Randy and I choose it, it was not common. I think I know of one other Ella and we never see her anymore so who cares, right?

I get a lot of people who aren't afraid to ask about Ella's cyst on her head. But a lot of people assume she got it because she either fell or I tossed her around a bit too much. I love to hear them say, "OH MY GOD! Where did she get that bump?" I say, "It's not a bump, it's a cyst. It's something she will have to have removed very shortly. She was born with it" That is usually the end of the conversation b/c they were probably expecting me to say she knocked her head on a table or something.

As you can tell, I like to shock people. Shock value is what keeps me going.

I had a guy from who we have our TV service come and hook up another unit in the garage for my brother in law, since he is now our current tenant. And he stupidly says, "Would you like me to show you how it works?" I laughed. Was this guy serious? Even in my grungy pj's and dirty hair, carrying around a baby, could he possibly have been hitting on me? Some guys just don't care, right? I'm sorry, after laughing I said, "Sir, we have had this service for 5 years and already have 2 units....and to be quite honest, I don't live in the garage so I don't give a shit if my brother knows how to work it or not. Sorry." Once again, a shocked look and he said, "Oh, can you just sign here then?"

I recently had a member of my family come over unannounced and asked me why I felt the need to vacuum my truck. Probably b/c I have two little kids who eat in this car and it just looks gross after 3 years of NOT vacuuming it out. So s/he said, "Well, just leave it there, it's OK." Oh rrrreeeaaallllyyy, well, I don't know about you but I don't like my car looking like it's a small garbage pit. Plus the vacuum helped drown them out so I didn't have to hear the rude comments. But seriously, why bother asking when you're the one who came over without calling first? It's just not worth it.

Sometimes, it's the people closest to you who say the damnest things. My hubby is the perfect example. I'm always wondering how he makes it thru the day sometimes b/c the things he asks are just so darn stupid or mean. Like, we went somewhere and I wanted something sweet to eat and of course he says, "Your ass is big enough." He should know better than to say that, even when other family members are around b/c I'm VERY good at embarrassing him. So I said to his mother AND stepdad, "Magellan said my butts big and I should watch what I eat." Oooohhhh, he got it good for a good few minutes for that. Did it teach him? Of course not. He's a stubborn guido. I asked him to start the water for Ella's bath one day while I put some clothes away, and he turns to me and says,

"Well, what do you do with Ella?"

I said, "What do you mean, what do I do with her?"

He says, "Where do you put her?"

"Well....you can either put her in the bath tub with the water running or sit her on the floor. Are you serious though? This isn't your first kid."

He responds, "Well, I wasn't sure what you did."

Ok, the lightbulb never went off in his head that day b/c who asks things like that. I had to ask him if he did drugs during the work hours and killed off one too many brain cells. But, Randy will be a whole nother topic for a different day. Trust me, I'll have you in tears.

Never Say Never

Well, the title of my post says it all! Never say never...until you have kids anyways. Really, I mean it. I went out on a whim and bought something I swore I would never buy for my kids. Dire situations require desperate measures though. After listening to Ella scream bloody murder for 10.5 months, I bought the perfect accessory any mother should have. No, I'm not talking about a Coach purse, though that is a lovely thought. I bought a dual portable DVD set for my truck. My piece of shit truck, might I add. Since it's not in the budget for me to be getting a new vehicle anytime soon, I HAD to have the DVD set. The next car I eventually get will have one built in, but in the meantime I had to purchase one. I told CJ we were on a mission in Target and we were getting one thing, and one thing only. And if they didn't have it, well, then we would be finding another store that did have one in stock. He of course had NO clue what I was talking about b/c no one in our family has one for their car. Once he realized what it was when we were checking them out in the display case he was happier than a pig in shit. Naturally that meant we had to pick out a movie at Target as well so we could test out the DVD player on the way home. CJ very badly wanted a new Transformer or Pokemon movie, but b/c Miss Ella was with us I had to nix that idea. So, he decided on a Little Einstein movie. I guess it's better than Barney. $200 later, we left the store and I quickly set up the DVD player. Very easy, might I add, and I love the fact that each kid has their own TV strapped to the seat in front of them. Of course that doesn't stop Ella from staring at CJ's for half the car ride! I think it's cute b/c she so badly just wants to be doing whatever he is doing. CJ on the other hand, is not typically in the sharing mood. Anyway, it was the secret medicine to my ongoing pain with Ella. From the day we brought her home from the hospital, she has screamed and wailed bloody murder. I'm always afraid someone is going to think I'm kidnapping her or something b/c it is just ear piercing, window shattering screams. It's quite embarrassing and you think with all the running around that I do that she would really be used to the car by now. I think she just really hates being confined or something. I have tried toys, mirrors, music, different car seats...I mean the list is endless. And NOTHING HAS WORKED with this sassy girl. It was quite funny when I put her in the car to get CJ at school today and she pointed to the DVD player in front of her. Now I just have to get some different movies for the car b/c I'm getting kind of sick of hearing the Little Einstein theme song. I sing it in my sleep!

So CJ had his first day of preschool today. He was so looking forward to it that he got up early, washed his hands, brushed his teeth and dressed himself. All before 7am! He couldn't wait to get there and make some new friends. We got there and he just took off on the playground after saying his to his new teacher. The teacher said I could stick around if I wanted and I'm like, "Lady, when a child runs off like that you should know better than to stick around and wait for the tantrum to start." I left and was hoping to get some rest while Ella took her morning nap. Nope. Not happening. I had slept like absolute shit the last two nights b/c I caught CJ's awesome cold. My nose is so stuffed up and my throat is on fire, which naturally makes it difficult to sleep. By the time Ella fell asleep we only had about 30 Min's before having to go get CJ. Silly me, I then hoped she would take a decent afternoon nap b/c of the lack of sleep in the morning. Yeah right. I should know my daughter better by now, right? She slept for less than an hour which makes for an absolutely miserable baby. I was not happy, so I did some cleaning and laundry. Randy had a meeting so CJ and I made a pizza while Ella screamed b/c the stairs are now gated and she can't have free roam of the house anymore.

Let me just tell you how fearless my baby girl is. I don't know where she gets it. She stands up on her changing table and bounces up and down on it, hanging onto the side railing, shaking the entire table. Then she'll stumble a bit and look at me and laugh. I caught her chewing on her crib the other day too. And as I looked closer I noticed all the bite marks all over the rails. Awesome, eh? She pulls up on everything and anything and can now open all the cupboards and drawers. Luckily I left all the childproof latches on the cupboards so I don't have to worry about that. But it's exhausting just the same. She now thinks the pets dog/water bowls are a great place to hang out. I was just so tired of her chasing this evening I let her play in the water bowl and make a huge puddle on the floor. It's not gonna hurt anything and she had a great time. She loves water and splashing around. She is currently getting her 5Th and 6Th tooth. Not fun b/c it's back to Evil Ella now. I don't like Evil Ella. Evil Ella has learned to say No way too soon for me. And she knows how to use it. But she's learned some other wonderful things. Like giving kisses, giving high fives, pointing to what she wants, holding her own sippy cup, saying "up", "all done", "hi Dada", and "night night". Of course, with her own baby accent added! But it's cute. I am working really hard on signing with her but I have a feeling it's a lost cause. CJ signed for a little bit when he was her age, but he started talking so early on that it was a lost cause with him b/c he'd rather speak than use his hands.

It's amazing the love that Ella has for CJ. It truly is mind blowing sometimes. She gets SO excited when she sees him in the morning and she laughs at literally everything he does. He could shit his pants and she would laugh hysterically. Often times CJ is the one who calms her down, even if he's just talking to her. She crawls all over the house b/c she just wants to be with him at all times playing with whatever he's playing with. CJ doesn't always find it so amazing, rather he ends up running from her. I don't know what he's gonna do when she starts walking!